0F2G.NET

Zero F*cks To Give

Cletus

Special Weather Statement issued January 16 at 12:46AM EST by NWS

By

...Areas of dense fog with patchy freezing fog... Areas of dense fog have developed across the region, with visibilities one half mile or less in some locations. In addition, roadways are still moist from rainfall that occurred early Tuesday morning, with additional moisture from the areas of fog currently. This, combined with temperatures near or below freezing

Before you move to Georgia…

By Leave a Comment

ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO GEORGIA

1.  Buy a gun.  You don’t have to carry it or even hunt with it.  But you must own at least one.
2. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
3. If you run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Remember: “Y’all” is singular. “All y’all” is plural. “All y’all’s” is plural possessive.
5. Get used to the phrase “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”.  And the collateral phrase “You call this hot? Wait’ll August.”
6. Don’t tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
7. If you think it’s too hot, don’t worry. It’ll cool down-in December (if you’re lucky)
8. A Mercedes-Benz or Lexus is not a status symbol here, a Jeep, Chevrolet, Dodge, or Ford is.
9. If someone says they’re “fixin” to do something, that doesn’t mean anything’s broken.
10. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
11. If you see a slower moving vehicle/equipment on a two lane road coming towards you, pull onto the shoulder, that is called “courtesy”.
12. BBQ is a food dish. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors. That’s called a cookout.
13. Weddings, funerals, and giving birth must take into consideration NASCAR races and football and baseball games.
14. Everything is better with cheese.
15. Dukes is real mayonnaise.  Just that.  Dukes.  Nothing else.  Dukes.
16. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die or until Jesus comes back, which ever comes first.
17. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
18. For funeral processions, pull to the right and stop, turn your music off and wait for the entire procession to go by. We men also remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
19. “Bless your Heart” is our nice way of saying you’re an idiot.
20. No matter what kind: Sprite, Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, its called Coke!
21. If you don’t like the weather in Georgia , wait 30 minutes, it will change.
22. We say ‘Please’ & ‘Thank you’, it’s called being polite.
23. We hold the door open for our women, especially the elderly, it’s called being respectful.
24. Our state bird is the mosquito.
25. Our state drink is sweet tea.  NOT TEA WITH SUGAR ADDED AFTER IT IS COOL!  That is sweetened tea.  There is a difference.
26. Our four food groups are meat, salt, sugar and alcohol.
27. We deep-fry everything!!!

Added

28. Dinner is at noon, supper is in the evening.
(Edited, because I’m fucking right.)