One of my fondest memories of working as a cop on Thanksgiving day was an arrest in the Cradock section of Portsmouth, Virginia.
At about 11AM I received a call regarding a domestic dispute. I responded to the address and found both husband and wife bleeding from minor head wounds.
I called the medics immediately and as we were waiting they both explained they were arguing over whether to have turkey or ham for dinner at Thanksgiving. The argument escalated and she swung a Food Lion bag with a frozen 5 pound ham inside at husband striking him just above the left eye.
Not to be out done, husband grabbed a similar Food Lion bag with a frozen turkey breast in it and swung it at the wife, striking her just above the left ear, putting a respectable knot on her head and splitting her ear lobe.
This happened in the wake of the O.J. Simpson fiasco so domestic violence was constantly front page news.
Rather than decide who was the primary aggressor, and since there were no minors involved they both got shiny bracelets and a ride to jail. I believe Gary Waters (Sheriff) was serving bologna sandwiches that day for dinner. I am a problem solver.
Sunday – Church was great today! God is GREAT! Praise God. Hallelujah!
Monday – God is good! I am warm and fed and have a job!
Tuesday – Please share this photo and type AMEN if God is good!
Wednesday – Man this week has been hard as hell but I’ll make it.
Thursday – Fuck me! Is it Friday yet? I need to get drunk!
Friday – TGIF! Time for some wings and a couple beers with some buds. Fuck yeah!
Saturday – Holy FUCK I got drunk last night. Son of a bitch I have no idea how I got home.
Sunday – Church is great today! God is GREAT! Praise God. Hallelujah!